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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812367">Don't Forget</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuro__ken/pseuds/kuro__ken'>kuro__ken</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Kageyama Is A Dick, Memory Loss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 12:02:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,590</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuro__ken/pseuds/kuro__ken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been a couple of weeks since Tsukishima began to lose his memory at the beginning of every day. So he writes. He writes so he doesn't forget.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tsukishima Kei &amp; Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Leather Notebook</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>back at it again!!! another tsukiyama angst LMFAO</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He writes. He writes so he doesn’t forget.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This had started a couple of weeks ago. Waking up, not remembering a single thing, not even his name. He couldn’t tell where he was or what he was doing until he felt the cracked leather notebook poking at his legs. He would reach down and grab it with a hazy mind. He cracks it open every morning, scanning the pages of information, trying to gather everything so he could live a semi-normal life.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima had forgotten everything.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was another groggy morning. He woke up to his alarm ringing in his ears and the sun shining brightly through his curtains. He furrows his brows, not knowing what was going on. His brain felt like it was a blank sheet of paper. He didn't know where he was, what his name was, how old he was, he remembered absolutely nothing. Nothing came to his mind until he felt the leather notebook press against him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The contents inside gave him a basic rundown. Pages were scribbled with his life information, things he did, his family information. But there was one page that stuck out completely.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a page full of someone named Yamaguchi.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tadashi…?” He whispers, running his fingers against the polaroid that was stuck to the page with tape. There was a whole spread on him including how the two had met and how they were stuck to the hip even when Tsukishima was being a dick.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukishima!” He assumed it was his brother calling out to him as he bounded up the stairs. Tsukishima shoves the notebook into his backpack hastily so his brother doesn’t snoop around. His personality page said to be short and snappy with everyone except for Yamaguchi. So he will.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh?” He throws his legs out of his bed to start getting ready for the school day. His brother stands at his door with a goofy smile hanging on his lips.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Breakfast is ready,” He leans against the doorframe, “When did my little brother get so tall, huh?” Tsukishima shrugged his shoulders not engaging with his brother's small talk.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Volleyball meeting in the morning. Math class after that. Then Science. Then Lunch. Then History. Then PE. Then a volleyball practice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shook his head at how much volleyball there was on his daily planner as he approaches the school.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He memorized the map and layout of his school along with the volleyball club members. He didn’t want to seem like he didn’t know anything. He smirked to himself at that. How could even in a moment like this he was still so prideful. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even when memories fade, the original personality still lingers he concludes as he walks toward the volleyball gym. He can hear some people laughing along with the sounds of volleyball hitting the ground.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi, he recognizes from the photo, runs toward him with a huge grin on his face. Tsukishima smiles back at him but realizes it was the wrong move when Yamaguchi falters a bit.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” He decides to question the shorter’s movement and facial expression.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yamaguchi shakes his head, “I’ve just never seen you smile like that before. It’s really pretty.” Tsukishima blushes at his words. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ew… can you guys be any more disgusting?” A black-haired guy with sharp features snakily comments as he walks past the two of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Fuck. Who was that again? Daichi?</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up, Daichi…” Tsukishima quips back at him. Yamaguchi frowns at his words and the guy stops in his tracks with a menacing glare.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You pretending to not know who I am now? Real low, Salty-shima.” He glowers until an orange-headed guy walks into the room. His scowl turns into a look of contentment.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kageyama!!” The orange-headed guy yells out before attaching himself onto the taller. Tsukishima recognizes that to be Hinata. There was a whole half-page dedicated to how much he despised the guy, it was the least he could do to at least remember him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yamaguchi tugs at Tsukishima’s uniform jacket, “What was that? Why did you call Kageyama, Daichi?” Tsukishima looks at Yamaguchi and just shakes him off, not finding the right words to explain.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He couldn’t just tell him, <em>‘Oh, sorry. I didn’t have enough time this morning to study over my pages so I just got them mixed up.’</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That sentence alone would have Tsukishima sent to the psych ward to get mentally tested. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama approaches Tsukishima after he finished PE and was on his way to start volleyball practice. He stands in front of him with his arms crossed, volleyball jacket zipped all the way up.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you want, Kageyama?” Tsukishima acts uninterested. His personality page had a good breakdown on how to act around different people in different situations. He was so thankful for the book because, without it, he wouldn’t know what was going on most of the time. He was as clueless as he was the day he was born.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why are you acting so weird?” The two guys stand a good width from each other. Kageyama shoves his hands in his pockets trying to puff up his chest. Tsukishima scoffs at his appearance.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean weird?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama steps closer, having to slightly look up since Tsukishima was taller than him, “For weeks now you have been acting strange. You still have the same personality but something is off. You are like a shell now—“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut the fuck up.” Tsukishima bumps shoulders with him making Kageyama stumble backward. He walks into the gym with a heavy chest. His head was spinning.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Did Kageyama find out? How would he approach this now? Would he have to admit to losing his memory every day?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yamaguchi runs up to Tsukishima and gives him a side hug, “Tsukki! We are playing against each other today for practice. I can’t wait to beat you!” Tsukishima shrugs the shorter male off of him, walking to the changing room. He couldn’t look at Yamaguchi right now, not when his head was throbbing and his heart felt like it was going to explode from worry.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks out of the corner of his eye and he can see Yamaguchi stand there with a hurt expression on his face. It made his heartstrings tug but he had to keep a stoic expression on. Maybe one day, he could confide in Yamaguchi. But that day wasn’t anytime soon.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima really doesn’t understand this volleyball thing. Why was he so into it? It made his arms hurt and he was constantly sweating. Not to mention, his brain couldn’t wrap around what he was even doing. It was like muscle memory at this point because without him realizing it, his body shoved itself in front of Tanaka and he went to receive a ball. But instead of receiving it with his arms like a normal person, the ball smashed into his face leaving his glasses across the court and him on the ground.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first person he saw when he opened his eyes was Yamaguchi. He was hovering over him with a worried expression.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukki! Are you okay?” Yamaguchi runs his hands over Tsukishima’s forehead. Tsukishima leaned into the touch a bit before realizing that everyone else was around him. He tries to sit up but groans loudly when the throbbing in his head multiplies.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, God. You’re bleeding, like, a lot.” Tsukishima touches his nose at Yamaguchi’s words and sighs at the amount of blood that is dripping from his face.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima finally sits up with the help of Daichi, the real one, and he leans over his legs, “Do I look as bad as I feel?” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The team awkwardly laugh at his attempt at a joke. Finally, Coach Ukai walks over to Tsukishima with a napkin in his hand. He shoves it against his face and puts his hands on his hip.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kageyama!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama perks up at the Coach yelling his name, “Yes, sir?” He wasn’t the one who hit the ball so he wasn’t expecting the Coach to be yelling at him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Walk Tsukishima home.” Tsukishima whips his head around, and promptly groans at the action, to look at Coach Ukai.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama is saying what Tsukishima feels, “What? Why do I have to take him home—“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ukai cuts off Kageyama with a sinister grin, “I heard you two arguing outside of the gym before practice. We need to work on teamwork, don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s not like they could argue against their Coach so they sucked it up and trudged home together.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The walk was silent and uncomfortable. They hadn’t even tried to speak to each other since they left the gym. Kageyama had a vice grip on Tsukishima’s shoulder to make sure he didn’t fall over and fall into the ocean they were walking past. Tsukishima decided to ignore Kageyama’s grip and walk as fast as his swimming brain would allow him to.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s that?” Kageyama pulls his leather book out of Tsukishima’s backpack with a curious expression. Tsukishima snatches it out of Kageyama’s hands with a grimace.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who the fuck told you you could get into my backpack?” Kageyama growls and takes it back, opening to the page about Yamaguchi.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama laughs as he reads over the page, “What the hell is this? You fucking weirdo.” He rears his hand back and before Tsukishima can properly react, his book full of information is sinking to the bottom of the ocean.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Fucking Hell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima stared at the ocean, frozen with shock. His heart stuttered in his chest at the sight of the leather notebook slowly sinking to the ocean floor. All he could hear was the sound of Kageyama stammering through his words and the ocean lapping at the side of the wall, something that was supposed to be calming but in this instance made Tsukishima lose his mind. The air around him had gone frigid but he didn’t know if it was because of the actual weather or if his body had begun the final stages of shut down.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He bet he was about to shut down.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukishima... I-I didn’t mean to actually let go.” Tsukishima turns towards Kageyama who has a genuinely apologetic look on his face. He shakes his head, which had started to throb even harder, and takes off running in the direction of his house.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He needed to get home and write down as much as he could. He couldn’t have his facade break. Not now. He had kept it up for so long that if it broke now, he would be sent away by his mother. He would be sent to the hospital to never return. He would become a test guinea pig. That was something he was so desperately trying to avoid. He couldn’t leave Yamaguchi, not like this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He ignored the worried yells of Kageyama as he weaves in and out of people, pushing them out of his way. He had pages upon pages in that book. Pages with important shit, pages with minute shit that made the facade a little easier to get through with. He didn’t even know if he could remember all the stuff he had down in it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His legs were burning by the time he got to his house. His lungs felt like they were going to explode and his head was throbbing, making his thoughts swim. He throws the door open ignoring his mom and brother calling out to him. He makes it to his room finally. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt like he was going to pass out from exhaustion. His head was cloudy due to either the shock of his notebook being gone or the injury he sustained in volleyball, he honestly couldn’t tell anymore. Both events were something that Tsukishima didn’t plan on.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He rummages through his drawers and finds another blank notebook. He grabs a pen and writes everything he can remember.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His name, his family, his personality, his school schedule, the things that happened today, and his classmates.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima felt his head drooping forward with each passing second. He finally lets his head drop on to the table in front of him not remembering to do a page on his beloved Yamaguchi.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Waking up was so hard for him. His neck and back were screaming in pain due to the way he slept and his head was searing. He looked around the room, memories wiped clean once again. He reads the notebook that was sitting in front of him over and over again, gathering the information that he was given. He criticized the messy handwriting until he got to the page about what happened the night before. Tsukishima shakes his head in disbelief when he realizes what the hell is happening.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck.” He drops his head into his hands when his head wouldn’t quit throbbing in pain, “I guess this is the volleyball injury I was talking about on this page.” He whispers to himself so he doesn’t wake the other people in his house. He stands up slowly to try and not teeter over. Falling wouldn't help anything at this moment. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Getting ready for school took a lot longer than expected because he had to make sure he didn’t make any sudden movements to his head. Everything was spinning around and around. It made it 20 times more difficult to process anything that was happening to him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He walked on the path that was written in the notebook slowly trying to remember the key events that happened yesterday and form a reasonable response to them.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey.” He turns around at the sound of a deep voice. He thinks it was Kageyama due to the hair and the way he looked somewhat apologetic about something. Tsukishima wanted to find Kageyama and strangle him but that was for another day.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” Tsukishima deadpanned, not trying to give away anything. He couldn’t let anyone know what was happening to him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy shuffles his feet for a moment, “Hinata is forcing me to do this,” Tsukishima looks behind the guy to see someone with orange hair staring the two down. Tsukishima can’t help but scoff, “So… I’m sorry for what I did to your weird Yamaguchi notebook yesterday. I really didn’t mean to throw it in the ocean.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima sees Hinata in the back gives a satisfied head nod. He rolls his eyes and turns away from Kageyama. He didn’t want to try and formulate a response for him. He was pretty pissed off that this holy grail notebook was seemingly lost forever. Who knows what was in it? There was probably amazing information that he had forgotten to write down the previous night due to his head injury that was gone.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That had him thinking about all of the things he just didn’t remember. He didn’t know where the hell his dad was, he didn’t know <em>why</em> he had to be snappy with his brother, and he barely knew his teammates if he could be honest. There were scribbled explanations about all of them. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>‘I guess when I survive this day I can deepen my new notebook again…’</em> He thought as he trudged his way to the volleyball gym.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He slings the door open to the gym with a sigh. There were so many people on his team he just hoped he could get every one right.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukki!” He hears a small voice before he sees who it belongs to. He looks in the direction to see someone with longish black hair and a face spotted with freckles. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>‘Fuck. Who is this? I don’t know who this is at all.’ </em>He furrows his brows and turns away from him. It would be better if he just ignored him until he could figure out who he was, right? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy didn’t give up though. He just giggled at Tsukishima’s reaction and ran towards him with a cute smile. He grabbed onto Tsukishima’s uniform and gave him a fast side hug.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How are you this morning, Tsukki? Did you sleep well? Are you feeling a bit better?” Tsukishima pushed him off of his body. The smaller guy’s excited face turned into a frown, “Hey… What’s wrong? Why are you being like this?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima shakes his head. He didn’t want to talk to him any longer but the smaller guy continued. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukki!” He whines. The whining doesn’t bother Tsukishima surprisingly, it just makes him feel bad about not remembering who he is, “Let’s go to the back and talk alone.” He grabs Tsukishima’s hand gently and pulls him out of the gym and to the side a bit. There was nobody there, just a couple of birds chirping as it was a beautiful day.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I have nothing to say.” Tsukishima crosses his arms in front of his chest when the guy looks him up and down.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shakes his head, “Is your head hurting?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima’s blood runs cold at the sentence. He had figured it out, he knew that Tsukishima didn’t remember anyone or anything. His hands began to shake a bit when the person in front of him increasingly got more and more worried. The guy steps toward Tsukishima while peering into his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>'Too close... he's way too close.'</em> Tsukishima thinks. His eyebrows show the disdain he was feeling.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukishima Kei, is everything okay? You look sick.” The guy reaches out to Tsukishima once more but he steps back to where he's just out of his reach. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t touch me.” Tsukishima’s voice was strained. He felt like his world was crashing down. After this, they would send him to the hospital to be tested on. He knew his life would consist of nothing but hospitals and worrying his mother with his condition. He hated himself for being found out, by someone he didn’t even remember too.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukki?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima feels a cord within him snap. All of the fear and anger erupts at that one little nickname, “Don’t fucking call me that!” It was making Tsukishima’s chest itch whenever he called him that. Why couldn’t he just figure out who this guy was? He just wanted his life to return to normal, he was so sick of having to play the part every single day.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy looks hurt for a split second before he frowns.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why are you always so mean to me?” Tears spring to his eyes at his statement, “I wish I could hate you, you know that? All these years I pine after you but you give me nothing!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima shakes his head, “That’s your own fault, clearly I’ve never been interested.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It felt like his world was crashing and burning right in front of him. Tsukishima felt helpless and the only thing he could do was take it out on the nameless person who was rooted in front of him. He wanted to feel bad but he couldn’t, he was going to be the one that exposed Tsukishima to everyone. He knew everything. He had to cut down the person in front of him so he doesn't tell everyone. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess you just don’t love me enough. Even as a friend, you have never loved me.” The guy laughs bitterly. It’s all Tsukishima can do to join him. He immediately stops laughing when he realizes Tsukishima is laughing with him. His face contorts to an anger Tsukishima has never seen before, at least not today. The guy's face gets red and Tsukishima can see his body begin to shake.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tension between them is so thick you could honestly cut it with a knife.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck you to fucking hell, Tsukishima!” The younger guy punches Tsukishima’s chest. It was light enough where it didn’t hurt him though, “I love you so much but why do you hate me? Huh, Why do you hate me?” He collapses against Tsukishima’s chest, body wracked with sobbing. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima scoffed. He couldn’t believe he was having to deal with this type of shit at 7:30 in the morning.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima pushes the guy off of him. He can see his face was wet with tears, “Who the fuck are you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even though Tsukishima had no idea who the guy was, the face and pitiful sobbing sound that came out of him made his heart shatter. Tears spring to Tsukishima’s eyes involuntarily as the guy runs away from him. Tsukishima didn’t know why his chest was hurting, he wanted this to happen. He wanted the mysterious man to leave him the fuck alone so he could try and go forth with his day like everything was okay. But it still hurt him to see the guy crying so pitifully.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He is left outside by himself. The silence was almost suffocating. Tsukishima could hear the faint laughter of the other students walking to their morning classes. He wanted to be them so bad right now. Not having to worry about anything except some stupid test or what person they were going to sit with at lunch.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He desperately searched his brain to figure out who that guy was but he came up blank. He couldn't even try to remember who he was. His brain was blocking him from remembering. Tsukishima lets his head lull to the back, hitting the side of the gym with a soft bang.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He just wanted to remember.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. It Hurts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Spiraling. Spinning. Hurt. His chest felt like it was on fire. He couldn’t breathe, it was so hard to suck in the air that was around him. He tried to look normal, oh god, he really tried but he knew people weren’t just looking at him because they wanted to.He had to run away, they knew. Every one knew. They knew his memory was gone and they were going to send him away for the rest of his life.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stumbles through the crowd early morning. He didn’t bother reading his notes. When he woke up he was itching was a sense of urgency, the only phrase that was circling his brain was, ‘They knew. He told them. They knew. He told them.’</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>‘Who told them?’</em> He hastily grabs onto the railing that was overlooking the ocean. It was glistening so beautifully. The sunrise shone of his face, making his eyes burn with a familiarity. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His chest was constricting. He didn’t even know who he was. What was his name? Where was he? How old was he?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This feeling is rotten.” He leans his head down, the sound of his glasses clinking against the railing made him chuckle a bit. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The feeling in his stomach made him want to hurl into the ocean, but he knew how bad that would make him look to the other citizens just trying to get to work and school.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>‘Fuck, school.’</em> He didn’t have the faintest clue on where his school was located or even the general location was. He leaned against the rail with an annoyed sigh. He would skip this one day, hoping that he wasn’t important to the school.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had been leaning against the rail for what felt like hours. He watched the clouds circle around, the waves lap at the side of the wall, people walking by. He jealously thought about how nice it must be to have your memories completely intact, not having to rely on anything. He was regretting not reading his notebook, he just wanted to know who he was at this point. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew he was tall. He knew how shitty he felt but he didn't know why he felt shitty. It was the type of feeling that stems from an event, not an illness or anything of that sort. He felt an insane amount of guilt. It was clawing at his throat. He needed to apologize to something, someone but he didn’t know who. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He groans in frustration, scaring some people who were eating at a cafe across the street.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukki!” His head whips in the direction. He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if it was just engrained into his mind to reply to that name.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Was his name Tsukki?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Me?” He points at his chest with a slight tilt of his head. The guy falters with a confused expression gracing his once terrified one. His hair was a nice black color and he tied it half-up with a ponytail holder. He thought it was cute.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy steps closer, blood draining from his face, “Are you seriously okay? I thought yesterday was a one-off event but…” He shakes his head not being able to come up with anything.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukki grabs the railing, looking out at the ocean once more and the guy joins him with a sense of hesitance, “I can’t remember anything.” He admits with a bitter chuckle. The guy grabs his shoulder tightly, the look on his face a mix of not knowing whether this was a big elaborate joke or if he was being sincere.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Since when?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukki shrugs his shoulder with a laugh, “I don’t know. Every day I wake up not knowing what is happening or what is going on.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy looks like he is on the brink of tears, “So… what about me? Do you know who I am?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shakes his head, “No, who are you?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They both settled into silence. It was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. Tsukki could hear the guy next to him slump down to the ground it what he imagined was a defeat, small sniffles coming from him. He wanted to sink down and comfort him but he didn’t know if it would make the situation worse or not. He settled with staring at the sky. Tears began to fill his eyes but he pushed them back before they could escape. He didn’t know why he was crying. There was no reason for him to be crying.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukishima,” The guy pleaded from his spot on the ground, “Please, tell me you are lying. I don’t know if I can handle this if you are being true.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima. That was his name. Not Tsukki.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s the truth,” His voice wavered slightly. This only made the guy on the ground cry harder, “I have no idea how old I am, where I am, what I do. Nothing.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guys spring up from the ground, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. Tsukishima couldn’t help but think about how cute that was, “You are 17 years old, you live in the Miyagi Prefecture, you love looking at dinosaurs and watching documentaries with me. We hang out every single day almost. We go to different cafes and cake shops because you love anything and everything Strawberry Shortcake. You love playing volleyball with me, it’s the thing that made us bond in the first place. You are on the team at Karasuono high, your jersey number is 11 and you are an excellent blocker."</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima felt a knot in his throat form at this person’s true words, “Please, continue.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you with all of my heart,” He waits for a second and resumes when Tsukishima barely gives him a reaction, “You have always been my number one. I never knew how you feel, I regret never talking to you about it now. We have been friends for the longest but I want to be more than friends!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guy grabs on to Tsukishima’s hand with a desperate look plastering his, “Please, Tsukishima. Please, just remember me. If I’m the only thing you remember I’ll help you gain everything back,” He leans his head against Tsukishima’s chest, “I love you so much it hurts.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>“Yamaguchi…?”</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He writes. He writes so he doesn’t forget.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
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